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I don’t know if this is true, but I am too lazy to look it up, so if anyone else could, that would be nice. Rim jobs are specifically being cautioned against by physicians based on recommendations from the CDC. The truth is stranger than fiction. It’s not true, virus particles can travel through fabric – they’re unbelievably tiny. The fabric would reduce the Top I Can’t Breathe I Can’t No More Shirt. Corona is thought to be spread through water droplets so unless your fart is wet and has a high exit velocity you should be safe from farts. Your lack of imagination on the microscopic level shows you may not want to go around giving advice. All farts are “wet”. They come from inside you. All breath is wet. It’s the same.

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My husband called me on his lunch break to tell me that, sadly, I can no longer surprise him with bare bum farts firmly planted on the tip of his nose while he’s sleeping anymore because the government says that’s how you get the ‘Rona. Needless to say, tears were shed that day. One more thing we can blame Obama for, forcing us to cover our farts. Well, I’m an American and I will fart on whomever I please because that’s… That’s an amendment, isn’t it? Well of course they are. Farts are freedom of speech, hoorah and god bless my Top I Can’t Breathe I Can’t No More Shirt! Apparently not enough if we can still smell their farts. Maybe we need to install filters in underwear now. The was a rumor at my high school that was mostly taken to be true.

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It doesn’t matter what you do, the farts will come when you least expect it. I live alone, and the other day I was getting out of the shower, and my cat walks into the steamy bathroom, looks me straight in the eye, meows, rips an AWFUL fart, and walks away. It was disgusting, but also I can’t talk about the Top I Can’t Breathe I Can’t No More Shirt. Somehow it’s always when he’s right next to me, and they’re deadly! Did kitty flap his tail? Our cat jumped on my husband’s lap and ripped one and his tail flapped. When my husband asked him what he had to say for himself, he just jumped down and walked away. Nope. My cat does silent but deadly, with no sign of the horror he’s just unleashed except for the indescribable smell.

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