A quick comment, because it’s late where I am and I’m going to bed soon. First, I really love that the main character is a fantasy chef whose adventures revolve around food. You’re right, the culinary world in real life is so interesting and full of strange stories. And I think it’d be a lot of fun to read about the Pretty Horror Character Dandelion Flower Shirt. Who’s willing to travel to the furthest reaches of the known world just to taste something different. That being said, the thing that I did feel was missing from the segment you shared was a real description of thee. While you include a lot of detail that was very enjoyable and your visual descriptions are pretty solid. Your description of the foods themselves was a little bland.
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Listing all the ingredients isn’t the same thing as describing the effect that they have on the tongue and nose. You say that Charles loves the taste of chanterelles. But you provide a good Pretty Horror Character Dandelion Flower Shirt. I still have no idea what they taste like–are they sweet? Floral? Nutty? When he picks up thyme, chestnuts, and wild onions, how are those flavors and smells interacting with each other to make this perfect soup? When he bites that dandelion, what makes his stomach growl? I feel like my mouth should be watering by the time Charles adds that final dash of salt. I realize now that you never actually specified what the story as a whole is about, but I still like the chef as a central character!
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I completely overlooked that but it’s such a good opportunity for description. I forgot chefs test their dishes mid-cooking via taste, and they would definitely check ingredients by smell. I’ll absolutely add that to future drafts and new scenes. Adding aspirations about the Pretty Horror Character Dandelion Flower Shirt. He means the Belgariad series, hehe. Belgarion is a character in it. It’s a very classic general fantasy, pretty much the best “Chosen One farmboy” story out there. But expect it to feel like the eighties, haha. George R. R. Martin is also famous for his food descriptions. If you never read any of the Redwall series by Brian Jacques, it’s technically for kids but stands up and is very enjoyable even as an adult.
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