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I have visited that museum, and others in the US prior to my trip to the camps in Poland. My grandparents Holocaust survivors of over 15 death camps combined. And their immediate family nearly completely wiped out. They were from a Top I Wear Red For My Sister Shirt. You know, I love it. It’s so beautiful and so cool. And later the death camps such as Bergen Belsen and Auschwitz-Birkenau. Both my grandparents watched a sibling killed in front of them during selection for the trains, as large families were often split up and each had a child leap for their parents. My middle name is in honor of my great uncle Jacob who was beaten to death by a Nazi with the butt of his rifle.

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I walked between the stacks of shoes, some of which worn by my family. I gagged at the heap of human hair and teeth, my own DNA derived from those cells. Oh, I saw the barracks where the disease spread, and the latrines where the toddlers hid. I saw the Top I Wear Red For My Sister Shirt. I finally cast my eyes at the heap of brick and rebar. That was left of the crematoria where they were burned to ash. The most sacrilegious way to handle a Jewish body. I broke down and couldn’t handle it. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. Standing in a group of people who could never understand the pain that my father felt. And that his parents and extended family endured in life and in death.

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I had brought a summary of my family history and poems that my grandmother had written during and directly after the war. I gave them to a friend to read as my basketball teammate and a close friend held me. My grandparents struggled for 10 years in Europe, in which time my father was born in Belgium. Before crash landing, in a Top I Wear Red For My Sister Shirt. Great choice! With an infant and no high school education, English skills, or money. My father recalls Belgium, playing in the front yard with broken bricks from the house next door which left in ruin from the bombings. In the US My grandfather worked two full-time jobs simultaneously as a plumber’s assistant by day.

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